“If the burden is too much and stays too long, even love bends, cracks, comes close to breaking and sometimes does break. But when it’s in a thousand pieces around your feet, that doesn’t mean it’s no longer love.”

Stay with Me is a heartbreaking tale about love and how it’s shaped by marriage, family, tradition, parenthood and loss. The story is told from the perspective of Yeyide and Akin, a modern couple from Nigeria that has been in love since their university days, and after four years of marriage feel the pressure to have a child. The pressure comes from their family and society, but also from themselves; having a child, specifically a son, is what defines them as a woman and as man. It’s a beautifully written book with a unique sense of humor; one of those that you find yourself laughing out loud while your cheeks are still a bit damp from crying.

Adebayo does an amazing job at portraying in what way desperation to meet expectations takes a toll on life, from aloofness to mental-illness. She shows us how the decisions we make are constrained by tradition and even superstition, and how sometimes situations we can’t control define our lives, even when we are willing to work to change them.

In Stay with Me, we can find fragments of Nigeria’s culture, like the place of women in the society, the importance of male descendants, polygamy and the struggle of young people to transition from a traditional to a modern way of living. Adebayo even lets us see glimpses of the political unrest and changing situation in Nigeria during the eighties as it touches the daily lives of the characters. Still, the book deals in a delightful way with universal emotions- fear of being alone, powerlessness, deceit, love and hope- that makes it relatable and endearing.

About Ayobami Adebayo

Ayobami Adebayo was born in Lagos, Nigeria. She holds BA and MA degrees in Literature in English from Obafemi Awolowo University, Ife. Ayobami also has an MA in Creative Writing from the University of East Anglia. She is a senior editor of the literary magazine Saraba, that focuses on the work of new writers in Nigeria and other parts of the African continent. She belongs to a new generation of young African writers that are gaining huge international recognition. Stay with Me is her first novel.

Other books written by Nigerian women we recommend:

We just recommend books we’ve read

• Americanah – Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (Read by Angelica and Ceci)
• Half a Yellow Sun – Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (Read by Angelica)

Which book do you recommend? Please let us know in the comment section!

Nigerian Initiatives and Projects that support and empower girls and women

Female IN (FIN)

Female IN is a community on Facebook created to give Nigerian women a much-needed space to share their stories in a safe, non-judgmental and non-religious environment. Women can share any type of experience, from sexual abuse to personal achievements, and get advice, support and inspiration from other women.

The group was founded in 2015 by Lola Omolola, a Chicago-based journalist, after the kidnaping of the Chibok girls and the beginning of the viral hashtag #BeingFemaleInNigeria, to keep the conversation open. With more than 1 million members, the private group -entrance is moderated by 28 volunteers who allow at most a hundred new members everyday- is the biggest Facebook community in Africa.

Diagram of the Heart – a Photobook

Diagram of the Heart is a photobook by the documentary photographer Glenna Gordon that captures the lives of Muslim women writers in northern Nigeria. These books, written in Hausa, tell stories about love and marriage and are often restricted by Islamic censors. The series of photographs captures intimate moments of the lives of these women. The pictures are accompanied by fragments of the book “Sin is a Puppy that Follows You Home” by Balaraba Ramat Yakubu, the first full novel translated from Hausa to English.

So, I guess we have another book to add to the list!